maafkan aku kawankawan...
kalau kehadiranku serupa ancaman bagi kenyamanan hidup kalian. meski sebenarnya aku tak ingin menjadi pecundang, seperti yang diam-diam sering diterakan oleh mereka tentu saja dibelakang telingaku.
bisa jadi orang diseluruh indonesia raya ini telah sangat tahu, betapa berantakannya hidupku. beberapa kawan dalam tanda petik pernah menyarankan agar aku segera keluar dari kondisi memperih-hatikan ini dan segera meng up grade diri.
maafkanlah diriku yang hina dina ini bila mengganggu kenyamanan hidup kalian melalui kehadiranku. barangkali serupa seperti yang dibilang Radio Head lewat tembang kerennya Creep berikut ini,
When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here, ohhh ohhhh
She's running out again....
She's running out, she's run, run, run, run....run....
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Perhatikan lyric diatas dan andaikan she disitu sebagai anda semua. Pasti anda akan mengiyakan, bahwa dalam segala hal saya memang bagian paling tidak penting dalam hidup ini. Maka kalau saja kata maaf bisa menjadi serupa lem yang merekatkan kembali yang terkoyak, maka saya memilih untuk diam dengan segala konsekwensinya.
Terimakasih karena kalian telah menjadikan saya semata benda, pajangan atau bisa jadi asesoris. Serupa karikatur yang bergerak luntanglantung mengotori udara negeri ini. Saya memang tidak pantas untuk dikenali dan dipergauli sebagaimana lazimnya bangsa manusia. apakah sedemikian menggemaskannya diri saya? Sehingga anda semua lebih memilih untuk membiarkan diri saya terpuruk disini dalam kedzaliman?
Bisa saja anda semua benar. Bahwa saya memang tidak waras sebagaimana telah diumumkan disepanjang jalanan dilorong-lorong sekujur jogja. Tapi kok saya tetap percaya, Jogja bukanlah satusatunya ruang tempat bagi manusia berjenis seperti saya. Mungkin ada tempat lain, kalopun ngga bisa jadi nasib saya seperti lyric dibawah ini,
He's a real nowhere Man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody.
Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere Man, please listen,
You don't know what you're missing,
Nowhere Man, the world is at your command.
He's as blind as he can be,
Just sees what he wants to see,
Nowhere Man can you see me at all?
Nowhere Man, don't worry,
Take your time, don't hurry,
Leave it all till somebody else lends you a hand.
Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?
He's a real Nowhere Man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.
cukup jelas bagi kalian semua, saya kira sekarang. itulah gambaran diri saya yang agak lebih lengkap. betapa saya hanyalah sekadar Creep yang Nowhere Man.
terimakasih atas kesempatan yang pernah kita nikmati bersama. selamat tinggal semua. aku harus pergi dan jangan pernah berharap saya untuk kembali. untuk kesekian kalinya. sembari memulung bait- bait dari lagu di bawah ini,
Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Im just a poor boy,
i need no sympathy-
Because Im easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,
doesnt really matter to me,
To me
Mama,just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now hes dead,
Mama,life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooo,
Didnt mean to make you cry-
If Im not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on,carry on,
as if nothing really matters-
Too late,my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Bodys aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-
Ive got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Mama ooo-
(any way the wind blows)
I dont want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all-
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-
very very frightening me-
Galileo,galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-
magnifico-
But Im just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
He's just a poor boy from a poor family-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-,
will you let me go-
Bismillah! no-,
we will not let you go-
let him go-
Bismillah! we will not let you go-
let him go
Bismillah! we will not let you go-
let me go
Will not let you go-
let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me-
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
Oh baby-
cant do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-,
nothing really matters to me,
Any way the wind blows....
selamat tinggal saya akan pulang ketempat yang tak perlu anda ketahui dan jangan hampiri saya lagi. [c][s]
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